That One Weekend When Nobody Showered

Yes I said it…NOBODY showered; not Brian or Liam nor I showered the entire.weekend.long.
It also should be called:

The weekend we thought Liam had the plague, then the flu, but it turned out just to be hand-foot-and mouth.
The weekend we were quarantined inside our home with worse cabin fever than a hunter in the middle of winter hyped up on red bull.
The weekend we ran through all of our dishes and laundry before we stopped to do a load.
The weekend we watched Croods twice, Lady and the Tramp four times, and Veggie Tales once because Liam couldn’t get off the couch.
The weekend the couch was never more than two feet away from a puke bucket.

The weekend we sat covered in germs and stink next to Liam on the couch because he begged for us to just hold him, hold his hand, hold his cup, hold his roo-roo—both of us to hold him---and we did without moving, without a grudge, and without showers.

Let me tell you it was worth it. And so was using the entire can of Lysol and the entire water tank of hot water Sunday night.

Sometimes little superheroes just need to be held.

Dear September

Dear September-

I have mixed emotions about meeting you this year. I won’t lie, last year you were one of my favorite months of the year. September is National Awareness Month for Visual Impairments and Blindness, including Albinism, as well as White Cane Awareness month. So this year I looked forward to you just like last year to do my White Cane posts, wear my Raise Awareness shirt, my braille shirts more often, even doing little giveaways of sunscreens and braille books.

Then things changed. You changed for me, for our house, for our family.

Nowadays when I think of you, September, I dread you. I dread the emotions you bring with you this year, and hope that next year will be better. Right now all I think of when I think of you is a due date. A month that should have marked the coming of our second child, our middle child, and for that reason it is special. I’m a middle child, and one day I will have a middle child, just not this September. So for this year, as we wade through September, no belly about to burst, no nursery prepped, no every-five-minutes-or-less bathroom runs, and no baby in our arms, I will hold a grudge 30 days long, and hope that next year I enjoy you more. I’m not sure you will ever be one of my favorite months again but for now I am content enough not to rip your page from my calendar altogether. But that’s as much as I can say for now. Be kind to us September, in our house you are special, you are still loved, but you are also on the bottom of the totem pole.

Sincerely a sometimes but not this year fan,

Truth

I found this recently. I've been avoiding this blog recently, one that I frequent often for her mommy wit and advice, and her overseas travel stories.  She and I discovered our pregnancies at the same time and I knew she would be blogging a lot about it, so I avoided it like the plague.  I dared to venture to her page this week and I was shocked when I read her most recent post. It was like ripping off the bandaide on an old wound, bringing anger and tears at the same time, but it was a MUST read for me. My heart needed it, and it was beautiful. I won’t spoil it or try to under explain it here, but it is well worth the time to read.
http://adrielbooker.com/dear-pregnant-woman-from-a-baby-loss-mom/

The Difference Between Joy and Happiness

The past few months have been a huge roller-coaster in our house. The coaster departed the station the moment we decided to pursue expanding our family of three into a family of four, and after two dive drops (miscarriages), the ride ended back where we started. Some days, it is so easy to think the ride was “all for not”, but the rides twists and turns definitely taught me so much about motherhood, my hearts desires, our family dreams, and ultimately the biggest thing: the difference between Joy and Happiness.

A few days after our first “dive drop”, I drove through the Starbucks window on my way into work with my puffy under eyes subbing in for my usual makeup.  I was in no mood to talk to anyone but I was holding it together.  Now, I would never admit this to my husband, but let’s just say at least half of the Starbucks baristas may or may not know me by name….and drink order….just maybe.

Anyway.
It only took a minute for my barista friend to hand me my Frappuccino, but her words have stuck with me for weeks since then.  She paused with my receipt and stuck her head out the drive through window, “Is everything okay? You’re usually one of the most joyful people through my window at 6 a.m.” She waited for me to respond by I just shook my head. “Well, you just look like you’ve lost your joy,” she finished and with an apologetic smile she retreated back inside the window.  I sat there for a few moments but no words came, so I forced a smile back at her, which must have looked strained, and then just drove away.  I wasn’t ready for the questions, and I had not prepared myself with a reply.

It took weeks and another “dive drop” for me to realize something—there is a difference between losing your joy and losing your happiness because there’s a big difference in joy and happiness.

Your happiness moves and changes with each event or change in life, but your joy cannot be shaken when it is rooted in Christ. As a Christian your Joy is unwavering.  Let me explain.

The definition for Happiness is: the state of being happy or satisfied.
The definition for Joy is: great delight or a feeling of great pleasure and happiness or rejoicing.

Joy is a fruit of the spirit. Gal. 5:22 –“..but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience…”
Happiness is not.
Joy is strength in the Lord. Neh. 8:10 –“…do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”
Happiness is not.
Joy always comes with the morning. Ps. 30:5 “One may experience sorrow during the night, but joy arrives in the morning.”
Happiness does not.
You still have your Joy even in times of sorry when the happiness is gone.
Joy is happiness but happiness isn’t Joy.

When your Joy is found in Christ it cannot be lost, it cannot be easily wavered, it cannot be stolen even when your present happiness can be.  I hope when people see me, even in my days of sorrow, they see that I do indeed still have my Joy. After all when I look at these definitions, I want to be more than just satisfied, I want to have the joy.

So I guess you could say Starbucks fed more than my caffeine addiction that day! Kidding…but even though I didn’t learn this until after my conversation with the barista, I am glad I have realized it now, and next time my answer will be ready.

Fun fact: Joy is mentioned in the bible around 189 times; happiness is only mentioned 20 times.

The Great Passy War

This is only an introductory post, a "one foot in" kind of deal.  The war started early Saturday morning and is still heavily underway. On the defense we have the Parents; the opposing side-Liam. By the end of Saturday the score was Parents 1: Liam 0. Since then, the tables have evened. It's more of a stale mate. 

Our Strategies:
We began with the "big boys don't need a Passy," which morphed into- "if big boys go without their Passy all day, they get suckers!"

That worked for only a day.
Then the "redirect his attention" strategy was applied.... Followed by the "supply him with something to chew on"....And then more bribery.

Liam's strategy was more of a "embarrass the parents by screaming at the top of my lungs at restaurants, then scream over the music in the car, and finally non-stop chatter in hopes we would mute him with a Passy."

Only at nighttime do we give in; when we wake, the Passy stays in the crib.

Yes, The War rages on this week, but after surviving the first three days, then the first week, I think we will be victorious. At least until the potty training war begins.
Got to pick your battles-today the Passy, maybe tomorrow the potty.

Ideas as always are more than welcomed.
More to come, right now Liam's battle cry is calling. 

The Insomniac Toddler

I look at this blog title and just laugh today. Nap-time. Who gets nap-times anymore? (I've tried enacting nap-times at work with no luck thus far.)

These past few weeks, Liam has forgotten that he is a toddler and not a newborn anymore. He's decided he prefers a newborn's sleeping pattern, and I've decided to never have another newborn again.....KIDDING!! 

I have decided to wear ear plugs at night though, and maybe sleep with my head under a pillow. 

Or just sleep in the yard. 

Preferably in a tent.

Just saying.

Anyway, this insomniac Liam has got to go. Our night night prayers with him have started turning into "and wake him with the morning light.....but not until the morning light. Preferably closer to 7 than 5."  The following have all, ALL, been tried (and failed) in an attempt to regain our sanity sleep.

• Pick him up and rock him. --Even though everyone and everything told us "don't pick them up!!!" We did, we regret, let's move on.
• Leave him lying and pat/rub his tummy/back. --That's if we can keep him lying down at all.
• Sit in his rocker across the room and sing/shush him.. --Insert nap in the chair here.
• Put him on the couch with us because we refuse to have a "only sleeps in our bed" relapse.  --Insert hours of squirmy giggles and demands for tv time here.
• Let him cry it out. --This used to work like a charm on Liam when he truly was an infant.  "Used to" being the key word here. 
• And my least favorite....stern voice and a spank on the behind. (Always carried out by his dad.)

After last nights 2 hour 47 minute nights sleep nap, I feel as if I've lost what sanity I may have had left. (Also "may" being the key word.)

Tonight, there will be Benadryl, Benadryl for everyone!  All those in favor say "I", all those opposed say you'll be at my house from 11pm to 3am tonight.

Any takers??  I thought not.

The Most Valuable Piece of Jewelry I Own

My charm necklace.
It's been a growing work-in-progress of my favorite charms, for three or so years now.
It started with this single, solitary diamond heart, from my wonderful husband, on Christmas morning while I was pregnant with Liam.

 I don't remember ever taking it off until the second charm came about, my first Mother's Day, just two weeks before I delivered Liam.  It was perfect!

Then came the third and fourth charms just this past week.  Sometime, during the weekend when I told Brian he was going to be a dad again, he mentioned he would soon have to add another charm to my collection.
And so he did.....Not in the way that we expected, but in a way that's close to my heart....The happiest memories of our joyful giggles of excitement captured in a simple charm, of the day we found out about sweet baby #2.....A gentle reminder every day that this world is not our home.

The Trenches--Naptime Crossroads

Naptime.  It’s the only “me” time I get these days and it’s also the only time I ever really get anything done anymore.  When Liam was little (aka before he learned to walk about) I could easily clean the house, cook, or get some writing in during his awake hours…these days I’m lucky if I can just go to the bathroom alone.  I don’t mind the constant shadow each days, most days I love the fact that he wants to be wherever his mama is, but cleaning with my little shadow is another story! You’ve heard the phrase “Cleaning the house with small children is like trying to brush your teeth while chewing up an Oreo”? Well it’s true…whatever room I go to and begin to tidy up, my shadow is right behind me to drag the toys and such back out again.  When I cook he is right at my feet wanting to be held so he can see above the counter.  Sitting him in his highchair to watch across the kitchen is not an option as he cannot see far enough and demands to be closer due to his vision. (Believe me we have tried!) Now don’t get me wrong, I love love love my little shadow, I’d rather be playing with him than cooking or cleaning any day! So I’m content to only do these things which must eventually be done during his naptime each day. 
I shove things off until the weekends when I’m home alone with Liam and I know he will nap a good hour in the morning and 2 to 2 ½ hours in the afternoon—plenty of time to write, clean, organize my house or help plan a sister’s wedding you’d think right?

So now what happens when my little shadow does not nap?

I’m not sure when exactly it started or who started it for that matter, but we’ve developed a bad habit.  The past two weekends when it is time for our nap, I proceed as usual:

-get blanket

-turn off lights

-get small toy or book

-sit down on the couch with Liam next to me NOT being held

Liam will sit there next to me fiddling with his toy or book until he’s droopy and leaning over into my lap, passed out.  Then I carry him to his crib and turn on his music. We’ve done this each naptime and every night with dada for months now and Liam has always done great, sleeping through the entire night and all. 

Enter the last two weeks.

Each time we lay him down in his crib he startles and wakes no matter how quiet and soft we are, tip toeing around and gently laying him down before we back out of the room.
Begin round one of 30 minutes of screaming, coughing, gagging, etc.

So we go in, pick him up and calm him down either rocking him in his room or sitting him back on the couch with us again.  Some nights we force him to lay back down and cry some more or pat his back until he is asleep or droopy, then we slowly or quickly back out of the room again and wait.

Begin round two of the kicking, screaming fits for another 45 minutes to an hour.

You’d think eventually he’d fall asleep but NOOO! I’ve waited a full hour to an hour and a half yet still he screams.  Full on gagging and choking and all.

The minute you pick him up or sit with him again on the sofa he falls back asleep almost instantly, so we know it’s not because he isn’t tired—he’s exhausted!

I don’t know who’s been holding him during naps or if it’s just a phase for “this age” but it’s down right annoying.  I’d love to sit around each day holding him for 3 hours of napping but then what would that accomplish? Not to mention I’d never get a thing done ever again! My house would look like a tornado passed through it, dishes piled to the ceiling we’d have to eat out every night! I don’t function well in messes and I certainly don’t function on frazzled nerves mixed with lack of sleep—which is definitely where I am after having to listen to him scream and cry for three hours a day!

What age does this fit end?

I envy these moms with three or four kids who have tidy homes and a three course meal on the table every night. How do you do it ladies? Is there a secret training technique that I missed along the way? A secret to multitasking with toddlers?

54 minutes and counting now…..55………56……57…..

I’ll take any answers or suggestions you can share right about now….

Inside Parenting a Child with Special Needs: "Welcome to Holland"

Recently I received a copy of this poem written by Emily Perl Kingsley that I though I just had to share. I don’t talk about Liam’s condition of Albinism very much here as we write mostly on his own blog for our family and friends and those in our Albinism family to keep up with there, but I thought that this poem hit me more as a parent and as a parent of a special needs child and that even other parents with normal healthy kids ought to read this. It gives you a great picture of what life is like for parents raising disabled kids and answers the number one question that I always get from people when they hear about Liam’s Albinism…. “What is it like raising a visually impaired child?”  So for those who wondered……

 

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by
Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved. Borrowed from:

http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

The Trenches- Battling a Strong Willed 1yr Old with an Even Stronger Willed Momma

(We are going to call this Part 1 since I have a feeling these “battles” are not going to be few and far between.)

I’m going to try and walk you through our three day weekend trip through *you know where* while never leaving our house, condensing it where I can, but truly it would take all 72 hours to explain it all.  So here’s the cliff-notes version….

Friday Day 1

Pick Liam up at Ita’s and he refuses to go with me. Fights me when I pick him up, runs back inside the door to stay with Ita, and finally after taking a few swings at me to get me to put him down, Ita has to escort him to my car and help calm him as I buckle him in.

Head home and Liam starts to scream in the traffic—I want to scream at traffic too, instead I call my hubby who advises that he will stop, he is probably just tired. He doesn’t stop.  The entire drive home Liam continues to scream until I pull into our driveway. 

Get inside try for a nap (which we clearly need) and no luck.

Liam refuses to eat dinner, settles for animal crackers and then fights tooth and nail to stay awake as Brian and I alternate rocking and sitting with him until 11:00, when, finally, he crashes out from exhaustion.

We head for his room to tuck him in bed, go over all the normal routine—pray over him, turn his music on, night light, then lay him down into his crib where, instantly, his eyes pop open.
The next few minutes are full of frantic crying, terrified screaming, pointing to his closet in the dark until finally Brian and I break down and turn the lights back on trying to find what is wrong.  His passy has landed in front of the closet in the floor, which he is staring down at now.  Then commence the next hour of singing and cooing to try and get him back to sleep again.
After midnight Brian and I finally drag ourselves to bed, beat down with fatigue and too far gone to even remember to turn out the lights through the house and lock all the doors.

(This is when I remember something from my childhood…. My sisters and I would say “dad did you check the locks?” And he would answer, “ what are you afraid someone is going to come kidnap you in the night? Because I already put the sign on the front door that says first hallway second door on the right.”
We used to think he was kidding, just full of it, but now I realize he might have been on to something!)

End of night 1—Victory definitely goes to Liam

Saturday Day 2

Brian leaves for work at 6:30 waking Liam and ruining my chance to get him to sleep in.

We spend the morning half playing and doing some of Liam’s therapy up until lunch time. He takes his morning nap for THREE hours—which he slept on my chest on the sofa and would not let me put him in bed, but at least he is sleeping so that I can read a book. (Insert Momma Win HERE!)

Lunch time.

Liam refuses again his food and begins to repeatedly toss his sippie cup at me because it was filled with whole milk instead of formula. (We recently started switching over from whole milk instead of formula and he is not taking it so well.)

This goes on for more than an hour so I finally give up and take the cup away from him. When he is thirsty he will drink.

After I remove the cup we go back and forth with his fruit cup which he begins to toss in the floor in his lap and at me while I was doing some dishes that were piling up in our sink.

When he wants to eat he will eat.

So I remove him from his highchair and he begins a two hour tantrum throughout the house. Smashing things on our bookshelf, throwing his toys around the room, sitting or laying on the living room floor crying and refusing me when I try to pick him up or coddle him in any way.  I try every method removing the objects, distracting him, replacing the objects with other ones, spatting his small chubby hand…none of this works.

It’s almost the end of the day, time for Brian to be home, when I begin to ignore Liam’s little tantrum and start to unload the dishwasher. I turn to find that Liam is in the mood to help me, only the first object he grabbed out of the dishwasher is a knife. I panic and remove it carefully from his hand and then turn to spat his hand to ensure he knows that this is definitely a NO NO. But at that moment I stop myself, realizing that I am so worn down from the entire day and so tired of listening to his tantrums of screaming and squealing that I may hit his hand too hard with a little pent up anger and frustration behind it, so I resist all together and decide to redirect him once again, knowing he will only be back another day.  

By the time Brian is off work and we make it to our church (we attend Saturday night services when he works in the summer) we leave Liam in the nursery after worship.

We check in on him and of course he is screaming being walked around in the hallway by a nursery aid and looks like he will hyperventilate at any moment.  Church service is spent with me chasing him around the lobby listening through the speakers.

We leave to meet Aunt Lala and soon-to-be Uncle Seth to get some flowers (wedding prep stuff) from Lala’s car. Commence crying non stop through Hastings while we wait to meet Lala and Seth, and through the entire drive home.

Repeat of Friday night bedtime routine and 11:45pm we are finally in bed.

End of Day 2---Liam definitely wins this one. (And in case you’re keeping score, that’s Liam 2, Mommy 1)

Sunday Day 3

Liam wakes again at 6 when Brian leaves for work.

Refuses afternoon nap and eats small amounts of veggies for his mid-morning snack.

Another hour begins of screaming and crying and lying down on the floor dragging his blanket until he finally begins to fall asleep in my lap. This is when Brian suggests that I check his mouth for teeth or blisters….gotcha….one new little tooth has just broke the surface of his puffy gums and he is wailing as I check for more.

Begin dosing with Tylenol.

Finally nap time.

We spend the day back and forth with tantrums and napping until Brian gets home. Luckily, I now know the reason behind his tantrums and whining fits so I refrain from punishing him and instead just try to soothe him. He turns cuddly for a few hours and then goes back to bashing toys and books about the house again. By the end of the day my nerves are fried and I have to walk to get the mail just to have a few moments of peace.

We head to town to meet my friend Rachel and her newborn babe Ewan for dinner—Brian is called to meet me there to pick up Liam and bring him back home to get dinner and into bed so that Rachel and I can catch up. Instead the dads both end up joining us and we all six sit for dinner. Big mistake.

Liam begins climbing up and down from his booster seat (which has no straps to keep him in place) and in and out of the booth. A million macaroni noodles coat the booth’s floor. Finally Brian leaves early to escort him home to his bed where he falls asleep before I join them thirty minutes later.

End of day 3….or so I thought.

As I lay in bed I begin to sob. I cannot handle another day like today, like yesterday, or the day before. I need a mental health day after this. But I look forward to the weekends, my days full of Liam time and yet I just wanted to run far far away.  I find my hubby in the living room doing homework and unload all my frustrations and tears on him. He takes a few minutes to hug me and soothe me with his advice and kind words. Then he begins to pray over me for God to give me peace and grace with our stubborn strong-willed child.

Finally end of day 3, crawling in bed, too tired to even cry anymore.

Liam wins.

After all the weekend was said and done, Monday morning comes and I’m beyond exhausted. A one way ticket to Mexico (or further) was looking pretty good from where I sat 9 hours ago (at 4 am when he woke us up). But looking back on this weekend only gives me determination for the next. It’s a cycle of trial and error (this weekend being the error) and hopefully we will hammer out the path along the way. As I gathered my beaten self for work this morning, I realized I’m not only going to need my hubby praying over me when I FINALLY break down, I’m going to need his shower of prayers daily, along with a lot of grace when we/I screw it up. So we will take it step by step and come up with our own methods…eventually we will find one that works for us and Liam. I develop a new prayer as I drive back to work from visiting Liam at lunch time. (My way of making up for wanting to get away from him over the weekend. Cuddles and French fries at lunch time.)
So my NEW revised prayer.

Dear God-
Help me look forward to “good morning” more than I do “bedtime”

To kiss and hug more than I have to redirect, spat, or wag my finger at him

To let the messy house go more often

To pick my battles wisely

To give him grace when he is sickly, teething, or in new environments

To learn to live on 4-5 hours of sleep when I have to

To be the mom that occasionally spoils him with snow cones and ice cream

To be the mom who doesn’t care who’s watching our meltdown in the grocery store

The mom that knows when to walk away for a breather or call for back up when she needs it

The mom who doesn’t debate bothering her husband with her tears but goes to him before she hits the breaking point

To take a personal health day when needed, and not feel guilty for doing so

To be the mom who does not care who stops by when the house is a mess especially not if they are family

To be the mom who gets in the sprinklers even in her work clothes because he wouldn’t let go of my hand

To be the mom who doesn’t mind the sticky hands and finger prints

And the mom who Liam wants to spend more time with than he does away from.

 Amen
MEMO TO MOM: Tomorrows another day......ps you prayed for strong willed children!

The Dreaded Work Return

Maternity leave, 6-8 weeks of heaven…or hell depending on how you look at it. My maternity leave was a little of both, but at the end I did not want to return to work.  I found it very difficult to sit behind my desk from 8-5 every day without running out to check on Liam at lunch, just for an hour of play time or rocking whatever he was due for when I arrived.  Sometimes I would spend my entire hour lunch just sitting with him while he napped, gone before he awoke, never knowing I was there. One of my best friends and coworkers helped me get through the days with the constant chatter and a amazing gift I cherished—my digital picture frame.  The days got easier as I sat watching pictures of my little guy scroll by.

Looking back, I have come to realize that that little device was a life saver to my return to work along with several other items.  So, I thought I would share some of what I consider “must have desk items for the returning mommie”.

Must have desk item:

#1: Digital Picture Frame – shows more than just one photo like an ordinary wooden frame.

#2: A large Calendar—your schedule now will be much busier than before with all your infants needs combined with your own. A family calendar will make it much easier to keep up with all yours and baby’s appointments, hospital and daycare bill due dates, check ups and more. (I recommend going to Vistaprint and making a photo calendar; they are always cheap and always on sale. I got mine for free and just paid the shipping!)

#3: Box of Kleenex tissues—even if you think you will be “just fine returning to work” or “actually want to return” trust me at some point you will find your unbalanced hormones working against you to move you to tears at the smallest thing and you will need the entire box (or several) of tissues.

#4: Post-It-Notes--- And lots of them! You will find your forgetful “preggo brain” lasts longer than just the pregnancy and the need to write down quick notes to help you remember the important things will take over!

#5: Snack Drawer--- just like your “preggo brain” didn’t disappear over night; neither will your pregnant appetite. You will still feel the need to snack often until it gradually returns to normal or you wean yourself off of them.

#6: The Number List--- Even if your cell phone has your babysitter, your mom and your pediatrician on speed dial I doubt your place of employment appreciates you answering your cell phone during work hours…I could be wrong but I doubt it. So for the first few weeks, before you have dialed the numbers enough to have them memorized, you will need a number list at your desk so that you can use your work phone (if allowed) to place these calls.  (Some numbers I suggest: your OBGYN, baby’s pediatrician, babysitter/daycare, backup babysitter, grandparents, and any specialists your child sees (for us there were several!!).)

#7: Stress ball—when I returned to work I found little things started to pile up on me, from appointments to nursing schedules, to the to do list that was longer than my amount of sleep each night! The stress ball kept me from exploding at my coworkers and relieved a little bit of tension.  (Your stress relief could be something different like music or smelly candles too!)

#8: Coffee—for me caffeine was a must just to keep awake at my desk! I kept an endless supply once I quit nursing!

#9: Pictures—(reinforced by the #1 item) be sure to surround yourself with tons of photos of your little bundle of joy; they will help you make it the day go by so much faster!

And that’s my list! I tried hard to think of a tenth item to make it an even ten but could not….please feel free to let me know what I have forgotten!

MEMO TO MOM: Don't call your sitter more than 10 times a day....it will annoy her.

Easter Basket for a 1yr Old

To be honest, the thought of getting Liam, my 10 month old, an Easter Basket never even crossed my mind until three days ago when my coworkers scolded me for not making him a basket.  My thoughts on the matter, “he can’t have candy, he’s too young, so what do you put in his basket?” After they shared with me what they had done for their children on their first Easters I have to admit, I felt like a slacker! So, guilt ridden, I went to our local Target to see what they had to offer. 

There were rows and rows of candy and baskets. I managed to find a soft felt basket for Liam with a bunny on the front and bendable soft ears extending from the top rim. Brian and I picked out ONE chocolate bunny, because the kid has to have at least a nibble of it, and found an isle full of small toys and balls.  Since Liam loves anything that lights up and loves to roll balls, we found him a very colorful light up ball and a smaller rubber textured ball to go in his basket.  The basket was just the right size for the three small items and some fake grass.  I looked for a small stuffed bunny to go with his basket and some plastic eggs to put small treats in (non sugar treats that I already had at home to offer him anyway), and we were good to go.

Easter morning when we gave Liam his basket he was mesmerized by the light up ball right away.  Then when we showed him the green textured ball, he immediately started pulling at the rubbery textures that protrude from it.  They would pop back with a loud snap when he released them which earned a giggle from him every time. The final thing he grabbed hold of in his basket was his chocolate bunny. Brian unwrapped it from the box and gave it to Liam who examined it carefully before putting it to his mouth.  We watched and laughed at his sudden realization of the sweet treat and began to gnaw on it violently.  He kept removing it to examine, and then would glance over at us as if he couldn’t believe we had given it to him willingly.  Eventually, after he had nibbled off most of one ear, we took the bunny away to divide between the two of us later on.

All in all, Liam’s small Easter basket was just perfect for him. He spent the entire day just fixated on the light up ball, and sat quietly through church popping the rubber ball in my lap.  So I guess a good Easter basket can be achieved for the under 1 crowd if you look hard enough, or in my case if you just look.

Happy Easter All!

The Basket



At church with Aunt Lala

MEMO TO MOM: All kids love chocolate. Period.

Planning Liam's First Birthday

The one year birthday. A dreaded but exciting holiday in my little lovie’s not so distant future, lurking right around the corner.  Exciting because my little man has been here a year, beating all the odds placed up against him from day one, living a happy, beautiful, and blessed first year of life.  Dreaded because this historic holiday means my little man is no longer my sweet baby boy but my sweet TODDLER, or as my husband has decided to call him our sweet baby toddler. J The past few weeks if you were one of the many who asked me “have you started planning Liam’s first birthday party yet?” or “so what is the theme for Liam’s birthday party?” I apologize for biting your head of with my various responses.  Until this past week I had refused to even think less alone talk about my baby turning 1. 

But, my mother in law has taken the liberty of easing me into it all with quick mentions here and there, then dropping it rapidly to wait for another chance a few days later to drop a line about it again.

 “I know you won’t want to discuss this right now but I’m planting the seed that in a few weeks I’ll begin dropping ideas about Liam’s first birthday, just fair warning”, and then continuing days later with, “found a few cake pans and themes I want to show you in the next week or so,” quickly adding, “when your ready.” Another week would pass and I would hear nothing from her end and then, “saw a great party supply store in Little Rock I may try and swing by there in the next week or so and see what they have…anything you want me to look for?”

So eventually I buckled and I decided on a Cookie Monster theme (since that has been the only thing Liam has really ever had a deep attachment to other than his kangaroo stuffed animal because he doesn’t watch TV yet.) and I began researching Cookie Monster party supplies.

(For a little bit of a back story on the Cookie Monster, when Liam was 3-6 months old the only toy he really liked, due to its ability to light up and sing songs, was an old cookie monster toy which hung from his car seat handle.  He did not like the Elmo one but the Cookie Monster became his favorite.  It always calmed him when he was upset and put him to sleep when he was tired and fighting sleep. Eventually we discovered that it was due to its bright orange coloring (its shirt) and its light up frog that Cookie Monster is holding.  With his vision being what it is, they told us light up toys with bright colors would capture his attention the best which explained the obsession with Cookie Monster.  We ended up having to purchase on Ebay several of the same Cookie Monster toys to have as back ups and an extra for our sitter.  So for a while everything we bought was a sort of Cookie Monster toy. His taste has branched out now and he is much more accepting of other toys but he still likes to play with Cookie Monster occasionally.)

Anyway, it turns out once I started researching Cookie Monster party supplies I could not stop.  I found cake ideas, cakepop ideas, napkins, plates, decoration, balloons, everything in Cookie Monster.  The more I found the more slightly excited I became. When we set the date on our calendars in dark blue ink and picked out the cutes invitations, it suddenly all became so real and for once I was okay with it.

 It’s going to be an extravaganza, a celebration of my baby boy’s blessed life!

So on Saturday, May 19^th (I’m slightly choked up just thinking about it!) we will be hosting Liam’s 1 year birthday party. I do not promise I will not cry, but I promise to enjoy and take in every minute of it.

Incase you need to know what Cookie Monster party supplies are out there, here is a small glimpse into our party planning ideas for my sweet baby toddler. (VIA Google)

Cake and Cookie

CakePops (mini cake balls on a stick!)

MEMO TO MOM: One year olds don't remember their first birthday parties...it doesn't all have to be PERFECT!

My "Not Such A Birthmark" Birthmark

A new discovery on our OA journey.......click HERE!!!

You Know You’re A Mom When….

You Know You’re A Mom When….

-         There are more gram crackers in your floor board than there is floor space

-         Your hair is always in pony tails

-         Milk stains are on every surface and all your clothes

-         You keep a list of places that do not have changing tables in their bathrooms

-         Your bookshelves are empty from 3 feet down

-         You forget your purse but remembered the diaper bag (only wipes won’t pay for your Starbucks)

-         You rewrite nursery rhymes in your spare time

-         You know all the theme songs to you kids TV shows

-         You have held out your hands to catch someone else’s sneeze or spit up/vomit

-         You cleaned a pacifier with your mouth

-         You used spit and your thumb as a wet wipe

-         You use a wet wipe to wipe down the table at a restaurant before sitting down to eat

-         You cut your food into little bites because you know you will have to share

-         You yell “Don’t eat that!” more times a day than you can count

Please feel free to add to my list I’m sure there are many I have forgotten!